Last weekend, my daughter Imogen competed for the first time with her horse, Diddle (Didtheyleaveuoutto).
Watching them step into the ring together with smiles on their faces was one of those moments that makes every early morning, every setback, every lesson and every difficult day worthwhile.
But what people saw that day was only a tiny part of the story.
The truth is, this moment was more than two years in the making.
When we bought Diddle, he was recovering from a nasty fall during his racing career. He wasn’t the confident, competition-ready horse people saw at the show. He needed time, patience and careful rehabilitation to help him become strong, comfortable and capable again.
At the same time, Imogen was still very much a novice rider. She had only briefly owned one horse before Diddle and had completely lost her confidence when it came to cantering. Like many riders who experience a loss of confidence, she found herself questioning her abilities and doubting herself.
Neither horse nor rider felt ready for the journey ahead.
But they started anyway.
Over the following two years, there were lessons, setbacks, tears, frustrations and moments when progress felt painfully slow.
There were times when it felt like one step forward and two steps back.
There were moments when confidence seemed a long way off.
But they kept showing up.
Ride after ride.
Lesson after lesson.
One small step at a time.
As riders, we often tell ourselves that we’ll do the thing once we feel confident.
We’ll enter the competition when we feel confident.
We’ll canter again when we feel confident.
We’ll hack out alone when we feel confident.
We’ll put our name down for the clinic when we feel confident.
We’ll ride the horse we’ve been dreaming about when we feel confident.
But confidence rarely works that way.
One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it arrives before action.
In reality, confidence is built because of action.
It grows through experience.
Through trying.
Through making mistakes.
Through getting back on when things don’t go to plan.
Through proving to yourself, one small step at a time, that you can cope.
Watching Imogen compete reminded me that confidence isn’t something you suddenly find one day.
The confidence she showed in that ring wasn’t built that morning.
It wasn’t built that week.
It was built through hundreds of rides, lessons, setbacks, successes and small victories over the previous two years.
That’s why confidence isn’t the starting point.
It’s the result.
If you’re struggling with your confidence as a rider right now, remember this:
You don’t have to feel confident to take the first step.
Sometimes taking the first step is what creates confidence.
One ride.
One lesson.
One small win at a time.
Before you know it, you’ll be doing something you once thought was impossible.
And you’ll realise that confidence didn’t come before you did the thing.
It came because you did it.